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AT 70, DURING A LATE-LIFE CRISIS, I decided to try a dating app. I put my age as 69 and carefully selected an age range of 50 to 70 for any dates. Why not? My last lover was in his fifties, and my grandmother’s second husband was 20 years her junior. Not to mention French president Emmanuel Macron, whose wife, Brigitte (née Trogneux), is 25 years his senior; and Madonna, whose current reported boyfriend, Joshua Popper, is 41 years her junior.
I got a meagre two responses. Devastated, my first thought was I had passed my use-by date. My varied and fulfilling love life was over. Then the app bot notified me that, while I’d exhausted all my dating preferences, I should try the general feed where there is no age barrier. So, I did. Suddenly, my phone started bouncing around the table with pings, mostly from twentysomething men — some a little older. “Did you read the fine print?” I asked, referring to the age on my bio. The replies came thick and fast. “Yes, I saw that,” said one.
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What the hell is going on with dating?
I have been having many conversations with my girlfriends about the state of the dating world. They are all wonderful women; truly a collection of the most beautiful and important treasures in my life. I could listen to them talk all day about their passions and watch them dance all night. Smart, talented, hilarious, stunning, loyal, caring, kind, authentic – the list goes on.
But our stories of navigating the choppy seas of romance in this City of Sails (fails?) are becoming increasingly similar. Time and time again, we comfort each other, picking up the pieces some dude has so carelessly shattered.
A common theme: celebrating the absolute bare minimum. I do not know how many more times I can hype my friend up over the fact a guy messaged her while the sun was still out or that he actually waited until she had shut the door before he drove off.
I recently reentered the dating world. After an almost four year relationship dur
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'I was sick of being ghosted so now I follow the six-month rule.'
Even by today's standards, it was a pretty graphic message to receive on a dating app: "I wanna f**k the shit out of you." Some recipients of that message may have thought, "Yes, I want to f**k the shit out of you too," and good on them if that is their choice. However, for Mirabelle*, 29, who works in horticulture from Sydney, it was just another disheartening dating moment that made her implement a strict, no-sex in the first six-months dating rule.
"I was over guys thinking women exist to be vessels for their d*cks. I don't want d*ck, I want a life partner," she said. "The clearer I get on what I want, the more I know I don't want to have sex outside of a relationship. I want to be in a relationship first before I have sex if that makes sense?"
While it should make perfect sense if that is her choice, and probably does if you've chosen to abstain from sex for cultural or religious reasons. However, if you
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